The Supermarket is Trying to Kill me
The night I got home from the ER I walked into my house and went a little ballistic in my kitchen.
Leftover brownies? TRASH
Small dark chocolate bars? TRASH
Honey Nut Cheerios – To HELL WITH YOU…TRASH
I stopped, turned to my husband, “I’m going to put the other things I can’t eat in bags and give it to folks. I just, kinda, needed to throw some things away.”
“You do whatever you need to do,” he said.
“What I need is education.” I looked at my kitchen. “I’m going to haul out all my Mediterranean cookbooks. I know that’s the healthiest way to eat.”
I was exhausted, hungry, and very shaky so I pulled together food for my husband and made myself a salad. Knowing that a salad was safe for me to eat made it the best tasting dinner EVER.
The next morning right at 7:30 AM, the minute my clinic opened, I called. I had my prescription from the ER I needed to fill, but first I wanted to get with a doctor and figure out insulin. The front desk person got me an appointment for 11:30AM. That felt so far away. I was scared to eat anything, and I knew my blood sugar was still high. I ate one, lightly scrambled egg and hoped for the best.
The doctor I saw was great, she told me to go ahead and fill the prescription from the ED. She walked through the plan; I would take two doses of Metformin a day, and insulin injections at night. She agreed that the Mediterranean was the best diet. She was impressed that my background included being a cook and baker. She was even more impressed when I let her know that I had lost and kept off 170 lbs.
“That’s the best thing you did for your health!” she said.
The doctor sent off my prescription for insulin, Glucose Meter and all the things I would need. She set up for me to talk to their nurse educator regarding diabetes and food. I wouldn’t get to see her for over a week, but she felt I could handle the nutrition on my own until then. I left clutching my post visit summary, and still very hungry. My prescription was going to take a while so I decided to go shopping.
Off I went to Trader Joe’s. I knew I would need to read information on whatever I bought, so I didn’t want to go to a store with too many choices. I grabbed my bags from the back of the car, walked in and froze.
Jesus, I was the one who always hosted dinners. I loved cooking big meals and always finishing with a dessert. Baking was my happy place. I also had just purchased 30 lbs of sugar on sale, because I also make and can my own jams. Jams that I could no longer eat. At least, not for a while. Shopping at the store was usually fun. I owned the market, it was my bitch. I shopped with authority. I knew how to make healthful meals…or so I thought.
Now I just stood there and looked around.
What can I eat? I know proteins are good, nuts are good…fruit like apples and oranges I know I can eat…ummmm….meat….um…cheese…
My world suddenly looked so cut and dried. So empty of flavor. I walked over, glanced at the sugar on the back of the dried cranberries I loved to use on salad.
EEKKKK! Nope! Focus, Debz…Mediterranean foods…grab veggies to roast…green leafy is good…I can do this…
Soon my cart was full of beautiful veggies, chicken, bison and yes, I read the back of EVERY PACKAGE so my thoughts went like this:
Hallelujah I can eat chicken sausage.
Low fat Greek Yogurt, I can mix that with fresh fruit…looky… granola that is only whole grains and low sugar.
Oh God…my favorite Thai hot sauce…so yummy sweet and hot…
I read ingredients and back it went on the shelf. I still had the hot garlic Rooster sauce, no freaking sugar! I picked up plenty of items to make salads, found the salad dressings that I could use and soon my cart looked freaking awesome.
I felt sad when I passed by chocolate chips…but I knew that part of this journey is going to be learning new ways to bake. The doctor assured me that chocolate was not completely off the table. Just everything in moderation. I was already used to that, I had lost 170 lbs but not by traditional dieting. Instead I used thought work about the ‘why’ of eating, and went by the belief that NO foods were BAD foods. Okay, now I definitely had some very naughty foods to watch out for, but that was okay.
New food journey. Not bad. Different.
Now I’d be using my brain for the ‘what’ of eating to keep me healthy and safe. I left the supermarket a little relieved, but still freaked out. Here I am, one hell of a great baker, but one that has used white flour and sugar. Here I am, a great cook, but one who also loves chicken wings and french fries.
Well, hell. I ruled the traditional world of baking. I guess I’ll just rise to the challenge and rule the diabetic world of baking! I can still bake traditionally for friends and family. Once I get off insulin I can even have a little of my traditional goodies, but for now I’m going to learn to cook and bake the shit out of the diabetic world.
I loaded my bags into the car, my hands were starting to shake again so I grabbed some string cheese.
Food acquired. Now it was time to go to the pharmacy and pick up…insulin and the needles it required.
NW-Scribes 
My first trip to Trader Joe’s was spent looking at sodium content! So many delicious foods staring back at me teasing me! Similar to you, I left with a basket of fruits and veggies. I added a few cheat foods, but mostly healthy.
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